So... my great-aunt died this morning. 

(I think I've mentioned elsewhere my dislike of euphemisms for death.  Let me reiterate.  She didn't "pass away," folks.  She died.  People do that.  It's ok to say so.)

I told some of my co-workers.  Seemed like the thing to do.  And my husband, mostly because I needed him to go home with me to hang out with my mom.  I didn't tell my friends.  Well - correction.  I told JP.  And she gave me sympathy.  Which I didn't want.  (Sorry, JP.)  So I didn't tell anyone else.

I'm not really that broken up about it.  I mean, Aunt Maxine - Sister Mary David - was a nice lady, and was always sweet to us, but I met her all of once, when I was maybe 12.  I knew her canine namesake better than her.  And she was older even than my grandfather when he died, and she had Alzheimers... and according to Dad it was actually really peaceful, a beautiful Nashville morning and she was holding another sister's hand when she died.  Really, you can't ask for better than that - a long life doing what you love, and a peaceful easy death.  And, well... I don't believe in the Christian heaven per se, but she did, and what with Papa dying a few months ago... I don't know, maybe she's having a happy reunion with her baby brother even as I type this.  So, all things considered, I'm not all that sad.

Mom was, though.  They hadn't really spoken in recent years, but they'd been close whem Mom was younger.  And Sister Mary David was her last living relative - or at least, the last living relative she actually knew.  (There are cousins from her mother's side of the family, but I haven't met them and neither has she.)  And she was the last of the older generation to go.  Like Mom said, it's like the ending of an era.  And while she wasn't exactly heartbroken - I mean, we saw it coming - she was... melancholy, I guess is the best word.

So we went over there tonight - I  traded with a co-worker and got off work early.  We brought brownies.  My family's good at not bombarding people with sentimentality; doesn't mean we don't feel things, just means we're... discreet, I guess.  And it means we'd rather laugh than cry, every time.  There was a little reminiscing, but it was mostly hanging out and eating pizza and playing with the dog.  Just stuff that affirms that we love each other without hitting each other over the head with it.  Mom was all, "Don't go out of your way if it's not convenient, I'm fine," but I think she was actually pretty happy that we made it over there.

Anyway.  I'm not exactly sad but I am feeling a little... quiet, I guess.  I know the instinctive reaction is to jolly someone out of that, and I can TOTALLY be jollied out of it - you know me - but I'm not sure I want to be.  Sometimes it's ok to be quiet.

 Banned in Singapore: The website of Chick Publications, home to the infamous Chick tracts, is blocked. Recently a Christian couple was convicted of sedition and fined for distributing Chick tracts that portrayed Islam in a negative light.

Dear Singapore,

Please be aware - no one take Chick tracts seriously.  No one.  Maybe the furthest, most extreme of the Christian Right do... but then, no one listens to them anyway.  

Maybe no one informed you of this.

Srsly, banning Jack Chick is like banning cotton candy.  Maybe it doesn't do anyone any good, but in the long run it doesn't do any harm either, and it gives someone an entertaining minute or so.  I have to think you'd have more success in winning the support of your populace if you allowed Jack Chick to have his say, then pointed out all the holes in his argument.  ("What holes?", you say?  I say, if you have to ask, you haven't been paying attention.)  I'm just saying - censorship lends legitimacy.  Letting him air his points, then tearing them to shreds, illustrates his silliness better than anything else could.

Just sayin', Singapore.

 So I just finished watching the movie The Spiderwick Chronicles.

Some of it was creepy.  (For instance - the part of my brain that is always Holly freaked out when the flowers turned into fairies.  Because that's how her Keepers got her, y'see.)

Some of it was awesome.  And by some of it, I mean the griffin.  Because griffins rock, and yes, I speak from experience.

And some of it was random.  Specifically (specifically random?), I found myself wishing that Mary-Louise Parker were playing Molly Weasley in the Harry Potter movies.  Because she's just such a typically awesome mom, and because the phrase "Not my daughter, you bitch!!" would just be amazing coming from her. Just sayin'.

I know I cite Fred Clark, especially his critiques of the Left Behind series, a lot.  Perhaps too much.  But dammit, the man is awesome.

Date:	2009-03-25 22:57
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused

 So, ok - true confession time.  I'm something of a Twilight-o-phile.

Bi-de-ba-du-buh.

That's pretty much the sound my brain made.

No, you can't know who.  No, you can't know when.  But she nibbled me, and my brain melted down.

It was kind of nice.

(Oh god and she smells good too, is that even fair?)

 Character I'm most upset about: Holly.  I mean... I know that collecting xp and spending it doesn't really qualify as "work," but it feels like I've put a lot of work into this character.  Right now she has some strongly defined goals, and while it's true that most of the joy of this(or any good) character does not come from dots on a sheet, it is also true that some of the things I was working towards would have been downright fun.  Fun to play, fun to toss at plot.  They would have given me more flexibility with what the character can do and therefore given me more options to play her, and play her better.  I'm going to lose a lot of that, and I don't know how long it'll take to get it back.  Besides... I've always had a bit of an inferiority complex with this character.  I have this heart-sinking feeling like the few things that did make her stand out a little, I'm going to lose.

Other than that... honestly, now that I've had a little time to adjust and calm down, I'm not that fussed.  If Tayanna had been on the books longer I might be, because I have big plans for her... but since she's still pretty new, she's not losing as much, and with the playing field essentially leveled, she has much less catch-up to play in order to rise.  Sasmita - she's been in play for YEARS, but when do I ever pull cards for her?  Seriously.  Heck, depending on what causes this to happen, it may even convince her to return to Orlando.  Seabreeze?  Setting aside the fact that I hardly ever get to play her, my understanding of the Mage system is so shaky that honestly, I really don't give a fuck what dots she has on her sheet, cuz by and large they mean nothing to me anyway.

And Rachel.   Aaaaaand Rachel.  Heh.

Rachel stands to make out like a bandit with this.  I'm just sayin'.

I think the thing that really worries me is that it's essentially nerfing the MC xp.  And while on the one hand that's good, on the other hand I really do think that the dedication a lot of people show to the club SHOULD be rewarded by more than a lousy 10 xp.  One of the reasons the club works as well as it does are the people who treat their positions as if it's a second job.  And while I don't think the prestige is the only incentive for these people, I don't think it's anything to sneeze at either.  Even for the casual prestige-gainer like me - with the sudden realization that, if I worked hard, MC 6 could be right around the corner, I was getting pretty damn excited, looking for ways I could hurry it.  Now, though - I'm just not that psyched.  Just not.  An extra 10 xp is not worth me going out of my way to grab prestige.  I get that the HUGE gaps between the high MC players and the beginners needs to be lowered so as to not intimidate the newbies away, but this much?  Seriously?  We seriously think this is the best way?  Bah.

Date:	2009-01-18 21:45
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired

Completely unrelated to anything I'm about to write about: this woman is my new personal hero.  I'm just saying.

So anyway.  This weekend, for those few who don't know, we had an iLARP.  (Immersion Live Action Role-Play, for the non-geek among us.)  An entire weekend's worth of camping out on an island, the whole time in character, playing Mage.  It was a special kind of special.

My Thoughts:

The Bad (we're starting here to get it out of the way):
1) OHMYDEARSWEETGODINHEAVENITWASFUCKINGCOLD!!!!!  Ok, I'm a Florida baby, born and bred.  My blood, she is the thin.  Having my feet turn into numb foot-shaped ice shards - less fun than you might think.  I totally get why the event wasn't held later (people had been waiting long enough, and were antsy) or earlier (the island was knee-deep in floodwater), but still, this was a damn cold weekend.

2) Other physical discomforts - I'm gonna lump them all in here.  Sore, blistery feet; too much sun (and smoke) in my eyes, making them sore; every muscle in my body feeling tired and bruised (probably from shivering - see above.)

3) I actually wasn't a big fan of how the conclusion was played out.  And I'm of two minds about this - to be fair, I AM absolutely glad that the ST's did not choose to initiate mass combat at midnight in the freezing cold woods.  That would have been poor.  And we were given the option of making it a bit more personalized, and we all, to a man, passed on it (although the precise wording, as the option was given to us, was "cheesy" rather than "personalized," which may have influenced the vote slightly.)  But it's just... if we're staying up and out until midnight, freezing cold (and oh by the way leaving half our dinner to either burn or get cold because we were ic-ly called away from our campfire and not really given a chance to return until hours later, not that I'm bitter) and (and this is the most important part) trying to quash low-level anxiety while subconsciously working ourselves into a fever-pitch of anticipation because we know, we just KNOW, that something big is coming... to have that something big be an entirely pre-decided and narrated scene, where nothing we do really changes anything for good or ill, is a bit of a let-down.  I mean, yeah, we won and everything turned out for the best and even the stuff we thought was awful and permanent got fixed in the end, but... I dunno.  It just felt like the bastard love-child of an anti-climax and a Deus Ex Machina.  And I can't blame the storytellers - God knows they were TOTALLY on their game the whole weekend, my god, more on this later.  And given the circumstances I don't know what I would have done any differently - every alternative I can think of would have been more, not less, annoying.  But dammit, that's why I'm NOT on the ST staff - so I can unabashedly expect miracles and whine like a selfish child when I don't get them.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

4) Godsdammit, I was saving that story for Holly.  I hate you all.

The Good (I've been saving this up):
1) The island itself.  Holy hell, but I love Hontoon Island.  It was chock-full of nature trails, old ruins, and totems (standing ready to be exploited for plot purposes) as well as clearings in which to view the gorgeous, non-light-dimmed stars (standing ready to be viewed for non-plot purposes - and Jeff, have I ever  mentioned that I adore you?  No one has ever shown me how to find Scorpio before.)

2) The plot.  Jake was concerned that the plot was dampening the RP, and talked about future iLARPS that would be strictly RP.  I disagree.  This may be entirely selfish of me, but if it the whole weekend had been RP, I would have been shunted to the sidelines and incredibly bored, IC as well as OOC.  (Again, this may be my own damn fault.  I said the argument was selfish.  You were warned.)  But given a mystery to solve - and having the sense that, inexperienced though I was (IC as well as OOC), I could still contribute something towards solving the puzzle - that got my character involved.  It was a hell of a lot of fun.  Gave me something to do.  Gave other people things to do, gave me reasons to interact with them, either positively or negatively.  As a direct result of this weekend, my Mage character, who hasn't been to a game in months, knows and is known to mages all along the Eastern Seaboard.  This does not suck.  Quite the contrary; this is a pretty pressing reason to return to game.

3) Oh, and lest we forget, the plot was based in part on Native American myths of Coyote.  Which I kind of adore.  Kristy kind of dreams of being approached by a manifestation of Coyote while randomly camping; this was TOTALLY wish-fulfillment from where I stood.

4) The nature trail.  Not only did it provide us with a BEAUTIFUL Mysterium meeting spot for the future as well as an archeological site to explore, it also quite eloquently demonstrated a plot point.  I don't know how else to describe it to those who were not there, but it was lovely.  (And oh by the way, the Mysterium have TOTES claimed the island.  So for those of you who want to build a casino, PISS OFF.)

5) The sacrifices.   I don't know how to speak about these.  All I know is... I'm actually really grateful that I was given a chance to take part in something like this.  Excellent, excellent opportunities for rp and character development, for quite possibly everyone, even those not directly taking part.

6) Vision Quest.  'Nuff Said.

7) I absolutely got to know my character a lot better this weekend.  I have a better sense of what drives her, and I've worked through a surprising amount of her issues.  This could not have been done during a 4-hour game.  I really appreciate being given the time in which to understand things that needed to be understood.  

8) We saved the world.  This, I can appreciate.  Hell, Noel said he's going to give me a whiteboard, given that I was a world-saving virgin before this.  

It's a good feeling.

9) I didn't realize for a while that they were doing this, but the ST's were going to fairly great lengths to make sure no one was left out of plot.  At one point, I would even characterize this as going "above and beyond."  Significantly so.  I don't know if ST's at such events gain XP or prestige, but either way, those at this should get, like, double.  Or triple.

10) The timing on the aforementioned plot was made of sheer awesome.

11) The RP and the IC self-realization.  Dave pointed this out in an email just recently; spending that much time in your character's head really gives you a chance to explore them and their relationships with other characters in ways not normally available.  Among other things, the fact that you don't have the time crunch of a 3-4 hour game means you can afford to go quietly into shock because you've never seen anyone get killed before - or whatever other emotional reactions you may realistically have.  Or wander off to have long conversations that may or may not be related to anything important, game-wise. 

Have I left anything out?  The event was so friggin' cool that I feel like there should be more than 11 entries in the Good category, but most of the things I'm thinking of now are subsets of the stuff I already said.

Anyway.  The good, for the weekend, more than balanced out the bad, and in fact I had a fantastic - if cold - time.  (Note to self - in the future, camp in the fall.  Or the spring.  Not January.)  When's the next one?  :)




 

Date:	2008-11-24 18:36
Subject:	Oh, Gods above (and below), this is RIDICULOUS
Security:	Public
Mood:	laughing at herself

It's just a game. I know it's just a game.

For those of you who don't know, I participate in a large number of larps. This last weekend, our Changeling game did something a little unusual - an immersion larp, in which we stayed in-character for a full 24 hours, no breaks.

As you might guess, this can be pretty intense, allowing one to explore facets of a character, and of a character's relationship with others, than is normally possibly in a 3-4 hour game. As you might also guess, staying IC that long really helps a player identify with a character, at a deeper level than normal. I fell asleep with my character's thoughts in my head, I dreamed her dreams, and I woke up with her questions fresh in my mind.

I'm not going to explain the drama, because the people who care already know it and the people who don't know it wouldn't understand what I was talking about anyway. Suffice to say at least two hearts got broken that night. And... my rational mind knows it's not real, but as Jake pointed out, sometimes your body doesn't know which signals are real and which aren't. And so once in a while I'll get this sudden wash of grief, like I want to fall to my knees and cry... and I have to stop and remind myself, "Kristy, your life is actually fine. There is nothing for you to cry about. It's your character who's upset, and you're not actually playing her right now!"

Lol. I love immersion larps, the few times I get to do them. But they do take a while to come down from.

So. Ok.

I'm reading this article on gay marriage, and why it is a Bad Idea.

http://www.frc.org/get.cfm?i=IF04G01

And to be perfectly fair, it's a well-written and well-researched article. I'm not at all certain that I buy some of their assertions, but I also know that anecdotal evidence - which is all I really have - cannot reasonably stand against statistics. After all, if the world worked based on the model provided by the small cross-section of the population I am privileged to call my friends, a LOT of the problems I worry about would no longer be an issue.

Be that as it may.

As I read the article, even when I found myself nodding (not in an "I agree with you" fashion so much as a "If this were true, which I don't yet accept, I would indeed agree that it was bad" fashion)... I found myself wondering... so?

Seriously. Let's say that marriages (and the people in them) are happier when spouses take on gender-specific roles - the man as the breadwinner, for instance, and the woman as the happy homemaker. Ignore the thousand(s) or so demonstrable exceptions; let's say this is the statistical norm. Let's also say that (as the article asserts) women "domesticate" men via marriage. Let's assume this is a good thing. And let's assume that the standards for fidelity are higher among heterosexual or lesbian couples than they are among male-male couples (again, putting blinders on to anecdotal evidence that suggests exactly the opposite.) Let's conclude from all this that heterosexual couples are therefore much more likely to find lifelong bliss than gay couples, especially gay male couples.

Again... so?

How many astoundingly ill-advised heterosexual marriages have you, personally, seen? How many divorces? How many abusive, exploitative "marriages", in which one partner was bullied into saying "I do"? Because I've seen - and felt for - my fair share, and I'm sheltered. When did we decide that the likelihood of a couple working out in the long run, or the chance of mutual faithfulness, or what "role" each partner would play, should play a part in whether a couple was granted or refused the right to marry by the state?

Some might argue that maybe such a screening process IS needed. If so, fine. Just apply it across the board - deny unsuitable couples and admit committed ones, regardless of the genders involved.

As it is, heterosexual couples can marry for any reason or none. They can marry because they met at a really meaningful concert in Vegas that night, and an hour later one of them won $200 at a slot machine - obviously a sign from above. And in most states, marriages can be annulled just as casually.

In such a state, if a homosexual couple wants to try to beat the odds and make it work, who am I or you to stop them? At the worst, they can't possibly damage the institution of marriage any more than it already has been. At the best, by making a marriage work even though society, the odds, and the best statistics money can buy are against them... they might just restore to the ceremony some of its ancient solemnity.

(For the record: the fact that I'm pagan means that my marriage is not recognized by the Christian God; the fact that I cohabitated with my husband for 6-7 of our 8 years together means that Christian propaganda says we're doomed to fail. And yet the state of Florida recognizes our marriage as valid. Think on that, the next time you feel compelled to claim that God hates gay marriage - or that statistics should be a deciding factor on whether a couple is allowed to wed.)

Similar logic applies to gay adoption.

In the grand scheme of things, it has really only been a very short time since homosexuals have felt safe coming out in public. Of necessity, studies on children of gay couples have been severely limited. Not enough, IMHO, to constitute a meaningful sample. Be that as it may. For the sake of argument, accept that the current theory is true - that children need a mother and a father to fully develop. It's reasonable enough. Even from my crazy pagan point of view, the idea of male and female energy in balance is important. Accept, for argument's sake, that the ideal scenario involves a masculine and feminine impulse, to fully develop said child.

Fine.

That's great, as far as it goes.

How many children go through their entire childhood without a home, a family?

I will respect the anti-abortion activist who volunteers at charities designed to help low-income single mothers cope with their lives and provide for their children. (So far I've met one.) And I will respect the anti-gay-adoption activist who cheerfully adopts as many children as their budget will allow, and maybe one more (no harm in stretching.) If you're putting your money - and time - where your mouth is to make the world better instead of striking out at people you don't like, I'll support you even if I don't agree with your stances.

Someone who opposes gay adoption while never adopting a child themselves is a goddamn hypocrite. Because while I'm willing to accept, for the sake of argument, that it's best for a child to have a mother and a father... I'm not willing to accept that it's better for a child to have neither than to have two of one category. Call me an old-fashioned romantic, but I think a kid needs a home, needs a family. If that family consists of two dads or two moms, I think it's better than no family at all.

When no adoptable kid has to go through life with no permanent family, when heterosexual and same-sex couples are vying with each other to adopt the last available kid on the market because demand has shot through the roof, at that point I'll happily enter a debate about whether same-sex couples are "as good" as heterosexual couples when it comes to raising children. Because at that point it'll mean something. As it is, right now, every time you deny a homosexual couple the right to adopt, what you're essentially doing is telling one child in the dependency system "You don't get to have a family." When it comes to this issue, I'm far less concerned with the rights of heterosexual or homosexual couples; I care about the kids being denied a family because someone who's not in possession of all the facts has decided that a life of group homes and foster care is better than a permanent, loving home with two mommies or two daddies.

And that's my political rant of the day. (I also watched a documentary today on Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo, so stay tuned for future political rants.)

Date:	2008-11-15 10:14
Subject:	Overdue...
Security:	Public
Mood:	blissful

To my bridesmaids. To Linden's groomsmen. To everyone who participated in the ceremony (whether planned or impromptu.) To everyone who gave a toast (whether planned or impromptu!) To everyone who sent a card, or a gift, or who simply showed up (sometimes from FAR out of town) to give us hugs and congratulations. To those who wanted to be there but weren't able to show.

Best. Wedding. EVAR.

Thank you all.

Srsly. The energy and the love today was a tangible thing. And I seriously believe that it's in large part due to that love and that energy that the day went off more or less without a hitch. (One or two minor snags, yes. Hitches, no.) Because when that many people are that confident, that positive, that the day's going to go smooth, well... the universe just wouldn't have the heart to thwart it.

The last few days have been one long experience of - just when you think it's gotten about as good as it can possibly get, it gets better.

( Cut for cuteness, awesomeness, and - let's be honest - bragging )

So... L claims I'm a connector between people.

And maybe so. It feels that way sometimes. Like I spend a lot of time and energy tiptoeing around people and choosing my words with care so as to build up connections and repair broken ones. Or maybe that's just an illusion, I don't know.

But sometimes...

In the dark of the night...

In those quiet hours before dawn...

There's a deep, unholy urge to tear everything down.

Miss Rani once told me I had an absolute knack for knowing what words would hurt someone else the most, and then saying them. If I forget every other piece of criticism ever levied against me, I will remember that until my dying day. Because it's true. I do know the words to say, and back when I was a little kid and subconsciously believed the entire world to be my enemy... I said them.

I try not to, these days. I try to choose to be a decent human being. But the words are still there. And sometimes... there is that sadistic urge, to say them and just... see what happens.

Date:	2008-11-01 01:33
Subject:	LOL
Security:	Public
Mood:	tickled

So.

Apparently.

These two chicks at the bar. Apparently, the fact that I mildly objected to one of them calling my husband an asshole, and later the fact that they both knew that I knew that the other one had called me a bitch... was enough to, if not ruin, at least mar their evening.

This pleases me.

I'm sorry. Usually I'm pretty easygoing, especially with total strangers because I really don't give a shit. But: "You need to tell your wife to stop being such a bitch. It's Halloween, we're just trying to have some fun." You know what really helps on the 'having fun' front? Not dishing out insults to random strangers. And ok - I was fucking nice about it! She insulted my husband, I calmly pointed out that she misheard him because the bar was loud, and the insult was undeserved. I didn't cuss, didn't shout, didn't get in her face or start pushing. Under the circumstances, I was a fuckin' saint. You want to get bent out of shape about that? I'm sorry, that just makes me giggle. A lot.

The part that REALLY amused me, though, was when Girl A (the one who called L an asshole) seemed to think that I was going to "start shit" with Girl B (the one who called me a bitch), and moved to intercept me when we stepped back in to use the ATM. Not that her apologizing in a frantic attempt to mollify me wasn't gratifying - it was. But - srsly. Have you MET me? Do I really give off the vibe of "chick who starts shit in bars"? I mean, even when I'm going for harsh, the most I can usually pull off is "piss me off enough, and I WON'T make you cookies" or something on that order. (Although I'm told I wield a mean wooden spoon.) Like, my ego is seriously boosted by this encounter.

"You need to tell your wife to stop being such a bitch." Giggle, giggle, giggle.

Date:	2008-10-28 10:14
Subject:	*sigh*
Security:	Public
Mood:	disappointed

1) We didn't get to go on the cruise. (The information on the website about what documents to bring to prove you're legal was incomplete, and so we didn't have everything we needed.)

2) So far, they're refusing to refund the money for the cruise.

3) We're in Cocoa in a cheap hotel, determined to have a fun honeymoon on the beach regardless.

4) It is cold. >.<

I have a half-finished lovely post about how beautiful the wedding is and how much I love all my people (and it was and I do), and I intend to finish it soon - but I wanted to post this first, because when we get back I REALLY don't want to have a million people asking me how the cruise was and have to keep telling the story.

If you're going to a restaurant? Tip your fucking server.

I understand that in Europe, waiters and waitresses make a living wage. That's great for them. It's also no excuse. Unless someone picked you up and dumped you in the U.S. without warning, you had DAYS AND DAYS before your vacation in which to spend 5 fucking minutes on Google and find out that this is not the case in the States.

But hey. I'll understand. I may not forgive, but I'll understand.

If your accent clearly shows that you were born here, though? Oh, no, motherfucker. You knew you were expected to leave a fucking tip. You know full well that if you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to eat in my goddamn restaurant.

Let me make this abundantly clear: I don't work for free. This is not some charity volunteer bullshit on my part; I am neither your mama nor your slave girl. Yeah, I get hourly; it just about covers my gas costs to get to work and back each day. My paycheck comes out of the money you leave on my table. If you send me back to the kitchen five times to get drinks and more ketchup and who-the-fuck-knows-what for your fucking party of eight, leave a huge mess on the table where you can't even be bothered to put the fucking lid back on the steak sauce, and then stiff me of the tip? You just robbed me. You just stole from me that time out of my life. I could have been home with my family. Instead I was cleaning up after your slob-ass kids whom you didn't raise right enough to put the goddamn cap back onto bottles. And I was doing it for free.

Let me state: I don't mind cleaning up after people. That's part of the job. But it's also part of the job that I be paid for doing so. You tip me 20%? Cleaning your table will be a joy. You tip me less dollars than there are people at the table? It's a fucking chore, and a waste of my fucking time. (You leave me no tip at all? Know, in your heart of hearts, in your conscience that will wake you in the small hours of the night, that depending on my mood and how the rest of the night has gone... you've left me either sobbing in the bathroom, or viciously plotting how to kill you and your entire family in your sleep.)

If you don't want to pay someone to clean up your mess and take care of you, eat at fucking home. It's that simple.

Oh, and if someone besides me brings your food to your table? That does NOT mean you don't have to tip me, because I wasn't the only person taking care of you. It means we had someone running food that night because we were busy, and I have to pay her out of my tips at the end of the night. So if you leave me nothing? I essentially paid for the privilege of waiting on you. Fuck you.

AND OH BY THE WAY. Whoever came up with the bullshit that waiters at a buffet restaurant are not "real" waiters and therefore should only be tipped 10% instead of 15-20% should be shot. After being forced to fuck themselves with a rusty thorned dildo.

I've worked in a full-service restaurant. And I've worked at a buffet. Anyone want to take bets as to which one required more work?

Do you have any idea how many people go up to a buffet, fill a plate with food, take two bites, decide they don't like it, and go back up for a fresh plate? Do you have any idea how much pre-bussing that entails, and how much of a pain it is to clear the table after they leave? A LOT, that's how much. TOO FUCKING MUCH, that's how much. Lord almighty. Give me a simple, easy, full-service restaurant anyday. Tip your fucking buffet waitress, or I will stab you.

That's my two cents.

And if you leave two cents as a tip... I will stab you. (Ditto for religious tracts, unless it's a REALLY GOOD Jack Chick diatribe. But those are rare.)

Date:	2008-09-26 02:35
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	giggling to herself

It IS possible to love someone without knowing them. Difficult, but possible.

It's not possible, however, to know someone - truly know them, inside and out, as well as or better than they know themselves - and not love them.

So remember, kids: be careful who you get to know. If you don't watch yourself, you may end up loving them. Pretty soon you may find yourself loving everyone, and then where would you be?

Lack of posting... generally not due to a lack of material, but rather to a surplus of same.

Should I post about the cop who pulled me over? The one who called me a liar to my face, even though I have verifiable evidence that I wasn't lying? He was kind to me afterwards; I broke my cardinal rule and argued with a police officer. Apparently I did it right; while he didn't apologize outright, he was much more respectful from that point on. Which is (the only reason) why I'm not following Kefka's suggestion to report him for the things he said before that point.

Still. I have a lot of character flaws - forgetfulness, buttinski-ness, a tendency to make it all about me, a tendency to dismiss anything I don't personally feel is important, regardless of what other people think. These are all serious flaws. I admit this. But I don't fucking lie. Fuck you, Officer K.

Should I post about latest drama? I'd really rather not. I'm aware that my perspective does make it All About Me; I'm also aware that taking any other perspective is horribly presumptuous. The hell do I know about other people's positions? Who am I to speak for them?

Two people that I love are hurting each other. I've heard enough and seen enough from both sides to know that neither side is squeaky clean and neither side is evil-awful... I'll admit to being shallow enough to have a bit more sympathy towards the side that listens to my advice (but perhaps doesn't follow it), and less towards the side that lectures me and accuses me of being a victim of manipulation... but in the end? I really don't give a fuck who's right and who's wrong. The whole situation is wrong and needs to be fixed. If you're focused on who's to blame, you're WRONG. Focus on fixing it and moving on, dammit.

(And on a TOTALLY selfish note? Both parties are involved in my wedding. You wanna see a Bridezilla? Postpone the reconciliation until the day before. I dare you. Ever had a deep, heartfelt chat at gunpoint? You will...)

Should I post about job? Nothing much to post as of yet. Although - may have gotten a sales order today. Not sure, though. Keep your fingers crossed. If the sale comes in, we get pie.

Possibly rain-soaked pie. But pie nonetheless.

Should I post about this goddamn storm? I had to drive through a lake today. Both ways. And almost got lost because the road I normally take was closed. But that's bitching, not posting.

Anyway. I hope you're all doing well, and will forgive my lack of posts as of late.

Date:	2008-08-07 21:37
Subject:	Not the only reason, but one reason, why I am cranky-cat.
Security:	Public
Mood:	cranky

So I have a new job. I like my new job. It's high-pressure, high-stress, and requires me to work long hours and be at the top of my game at all times, but hey - at least I'm not bored.

However, there was a space of time where the severance pay from my old job had run out, and I wasn't getting paid yet for the new job. Not as bad as it could have been, all things considered, but still.

And I have bills. So. Trying to be responsible, I contacted my car finance people - ahead of time - and let them know that there was probably going to be an interruption in payment, that I would get it caught up as soon as possible, but that I couldn't guarantee how soon that would be. At the time, they seemed to understand this.

Last Friday, I got paid. True to my word, very first thing I did was go to the Wal-Mart and pay an extra $12 to send one month's payment in via Western Union, so they'd get it immediately. Yay, right?

Now, true, this still left me with about half a month due (because before losing my old job, I'd been paying a little extra each month, b/c these guys are dicks and I want to be done with them early). It was late, but not a full month late yet, and therefore not in collections yet.

They stopped calling me for a few days. Yay.

Today, they started calling again. While I was at work. And busy. Because I was at work and busy, I ignored them. They got a payment and an explanation, and they could bloody well wait until I wasn't busy trying to earn money to bug me for the rest of it.

Then my phone buzzed again. Only this time, it wasn't them.

Now - understand. As a rule, I do NOT answer my phone at work these days. Not because my bosses are sticklers - they're not, and I totally don't have to, y'know, sign in and out of my station or anything. It's not that kind of job. But because I am busy while I'm at work, and I have too few hours in the day as it is to get stuff accomplished.

However, this was Jake. Who never calls in the middle of the day. Because he works, he knows I work, and he understands, y'know, priorities. So I'm thinking, oh shit, something's up. So I break my rule, and take the call at my desk.

My car finance people are calling HIM.

Because he was, I think, one of my references when I bought the car a couple years back.

So, red haze clouding my vision, I go out into the back parking lot.

Now I have to take time that I can't afford out of my busy day to sit on hold in a goddamn phone bank because I have to spell it out for you to quit calling my friends about a bill I'm making payments on?!?!?? Bullshit, sirs. Bullshit.

Good news: they promised me up one wall and down the other that they're taking his name off the list of people to call if I fall behind. Bad news: they've promised similar things in the past.

So Linden and I went out to dinner last night.

We've had an Olive Garden gift certificate lying around since Christmas, we figured it was probably time to get some use out of it. So we got dressed up - well, L got dressed up, I put on a clean shirt and whispered "makeup!" in the direction of my face - and went out.

And it was good. Power went briefly out from the monsoon outside, but that was ok. I was good and didn't order the fancy wine, but the house red was very tasty, and the braised beef tenderloin and stuffed-pasta-thingie dish was to die for. All in all, very nice. And our waitress was cute, little tiny thing with big round glasses, and we chatted and laughed and it was a good time.

Then Linden looked at something behind me and frowned, so I turned to look.

When I looked back, he was down on one knee.

With a box.

I got the formal proposal. And a ring. An actual, diamond ring, solitaire with a gold band which he knew was my favorite kind of engagement ring. Apparently there was a story behind it, which no one will tell me. My folks were involved somehow.

Mom was betting I'd cry; Dad had his money on laugh. Dad won; I'm far more likely to laugh when I'm happy than cry. So I'm giggling and grinning like an idiot and kissing him, and the table next to us catches on to what's going on, and the waitress hugged me, and...

Ah. It was nice.

And then we went to Shadowrun and stole a bunch of money using my mad cold-calling skillz. So that was fun too.

And on a completely different note... Tiffany brought me the cd of our engagement photos on Friday! Woot!

( Cut for cuteness )